Creationism vs Evolution
Creationism is based on a book written thousand of years ago
by unknown authors with unknown agendas, translated and
rewritten hundreds of times in many different languages
without any evidence to back up it's claims.
Evolution is based on validated and re-tested scientific facts
backed up with fossils, carbon dating and DNA data.
*************************************************************
CHIASMUS (THE BEST OF)
Here's a list of the most famous chiasmus vying for the Champion of Chiasmus title.
(Chiasmus: two parallel phrases with the second being a reverse order of the first.)
A famous illustration is Cicero's “One should eat to live, not live to eat.”
Please send any you may come across. (email at top of this page)
* You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing
* Nations do not mistrust each other because they are armed; they are armed because they mistrust each other.
* Politics is war carried out without bloodshed, while war is politics carried out with bloodshed.
* Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind.
* You may fool all the people some of the time...you can even fool some of the people all the time...but you can't fool all of the people all the time.
* Those who mind don't matter...'cos those who matter don't mind.
* Charm is a woman's strength just as strength is a man's charm.
* Infantile love follows the principle: 'I love because I am loved.' Mature love follows the principle: 'I am loved because I love.'
* Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'
* You don't have to be great to make a start, but you have to make a start to be great.
* Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
* You don't write because you want to say something; you write because you've got something to say.
* There is a great deal of difference between the eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
* It's not the hours you put in your work that count, it's work you put in the hours.
* A practicle man has his clothes made to fit him; a wise man makes himself fit his clothes.
* Half of our mistakes in life arises from feeling where we ought to think, and thinking where we ought to feel.
* It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
* It's not the women (man) in your life, but the life in your woman (man).
* Marriage is the price men pay for sex; sex is the price women pay for marriage.
* Many a man's success is due to his first wife.... while his second wife is due to his success.
* To let a kiss fool you is worse than letting a fool kiss you.
* I'm not the manager because I'm always right, but I'm always right because I'm the manager.
* The secret of life is not to do what you like but to like what you do.
* The waist is a terrible thing to mind...while the mind is a terrible thing to waste
ººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººººº
Some of my favourites sayings:
FOR THE WOMAN:
º Any woman can have the body of a 20 year old.
All she needs to do is buy him a few drinks.
º My husband and I divorced over religious differences....
He thought he was God and I didn't.
º Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
º I Have a degree in Liberal Arts... do you want fries with that?
º You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
FOR THE MEN:
º Women are always whining about how we're suffocating them.
Personally I think that if you can hear them whining ..
you're not pressing down hard enough on the pillow.
º Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
º The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
º He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
º A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
º They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
º Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
º I don't iron. If I'm not wrinkle free why should my clothes be?
º It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
coffee machine.
GENERAL:
º I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
º I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
º Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
º Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
º I'm not a complete idiot - Some parts are just missing.
º Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
º God must love stupid people; He made so many.
º The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
º Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
º Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
º Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
º A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
º Stupidity is not a handicap so park elsewhere!
º Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
commitment for a pig.
º The trouble with life is there's no background music.
º I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
ALL ABOUT LOVE
§-Love doesn't make the world go round...
It's what makes the ride worthwhile.
§-At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
§-Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
§-If you have love you don't need to have anything else..
and if you don't have it.....
it doesn't matter much what else you have
§-Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
§-Love is a friendship set to music.
§-True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
§-Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
§-They do not love that do not show their love.
§-The course of true love never did run smooth.
§-Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Now and Then (Barry Manilow, Sheena Easton & Kenny Rogers)
In the space of 30 years, Barry Manilow hasn't changed much, Sheena Easton is looking better and Kenny Rogers.....well, all the facelifts have taken it's toll.
MORAL ACCOUNTABILITY
9 million children die every year before the age of 5. Picture a tsunami the likes of the one we saw in 2004 that killed quarter million people....one of those every 10 days, killing children only under five. 24,000 children a day, 1000 an hour, about 17 a minute. That means before I can finish typing this sentence, a dozen children would have died in terror and agony. Think of the parents of these children. Think of the fact that most of these men and women believe in God and are praying at this moment for their children to be spared...and their prayers will not be answered.
According to religious believers this is all part of God's plan.
Any God who would allow millions of children to suffer and die in this way and their parents to grieve in this way, either can do nothing to help them or doesn't care to. He is therefore either impotent or evil (For the moment I'll leave out the 3rd option ....that he doesn't exist).
And worst of all, acording to which religion you belong to, many of these children will be going to hell because the parents are praying to the wrong god.
Think about that....through no fault of their own they're born into the wrong culture where they got the wrong theology...and they missed the revelation!
There are 1.2 billion people in India...most are Hindu, and in the words of the Bishop of Canterbury ...they are doomed! If you are praying to the monkey god Hanemaan, you are doomed! No matter how good you are, you are doomed! Tortured in hell for eternity!
Is there any evidence for this? Just because it says so in Mark 9, Mathew 13 and Revelation 14.
On the other hand, acording to most Christian believers, your run of the mill serial killer in the US who spend his life raping and torturing children, need only to come to God, to Jesus on death row and after being executed he's gonna spend an eternity in heaven.
One thing that should be crystal clear to anyone with even half a brain is that this vision of life has absolutely nothing to do with moral accountability.
Please notice the double standard that is used to exonorate God from all this evil. We're told that God is kind and loving and just and good, but when someone like myself points out the rather obvious and compelling evidence that God is cruel and unjust because he visits suffering on innocent people, we are told that God is MYSTERIOUS!
Now I have to say that it's not only tiresome when intelligent people speak this, it is morally reprehensible.
"God makes me feel so good while singing in church". Given the misery that is imposed on some helpless child at this very instant, this kind of faith is obcene. To think in this way is to fail to reason honestly or to care sufficiently about the suffering of other people. This is psycopathic because this is a total detachment from the wellbeing of other human beings.
On the theory of devine comand, the muslims who strap bombs to their bodies and blow up innocent people are only wrong because they're doing it for the wrong God.
Now I'm not saying that all religious people are psycopathic, but this is the horror of religion....it allows perfectly decent and sane people to collectively believe what only lunatics would believe on their own. If you wake up tomorrow morning thinking that saying a few latin words over your pancakes is gonna turn them into the body of Elvis Presley, you have lost your mind. But if you think more or less the same thing about a cracker and the body of Jesus, your just a Catholic.
I raised my daughter without religion against objections from all around us in a stauch catholic country and today she has more moral accountability that all the bishops in Portugal put together!
In the name of all the children that have died and those that have been spared......I "pray".....let's keep religion away from them!
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////OOOOO\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER:
This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.
Do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my pension book.
It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years.
It is on my National Health card.
My driving licence.
My car insurance.
On the last eight damn passports I've had.
It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years.
All those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!!
I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there?
Look at my damn picture.
Do I look like Bin Laden?
I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense.
You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons)
Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!
Signed
An Irate Citizen
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me?
Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ...
I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor .....WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((.......))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”
************************************************************************************************************
1. Don't take yourself seriously..no one else does!
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.
3. Growing old beats the alternative...dying young.
4. When it comes to coffee...resistance is futile.
5. Be eccentric....don't wait for old age to wear colourful clothing.
6. The most important sex organ is the brain.
7. If you're going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart...otherwise
you're just an ass.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
THE HUMOUR IN MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE
1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin… they can’t face each other, but, they still stay together.
3. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen..
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you canbe sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
5. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
6. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something she says. After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finish.
7. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
8. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, that is LOVE. After marriage, that is SELF DEFENSE.
9. A wife becomes a “SEX OBJECT” when every time the husband asks for sex she objects!
10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
11. There are two four-letter words that are offensive to men in marriage : “don’t” and “stop”, unless, they are used together (“don’t stop”).
12. Marriage is an institution where the man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Master’s Degree.
13. In marriage, a man can have words with his wife, but, a woman can have paragraphs with her husband.
14. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
15. There are 3 stages of SEX in a married life: Tri-weekly, try weekly and try weakly.
16. LOVE is a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.
17. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
18. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence … a LIFE SENTENCE
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that english spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro- English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
